Update from Redding

Greetings All from Redding!!

I know it's been some time since my last post, but God is moving in my life in so many amazing ways I had to stop everything to write about it. I have been going after two major areas in my life (besides my boys): an abundant mindset that releases supernatural provision and a supernaturally-healthy lifestyle. I've written declarations for these areas and for two months (the revised ones; I started beginning of this year with declarations) now I've spoken them over myself pretty much daily.

This week is relationship week at Bethel. The tools and strategies for healthy relationships and marriages that have been released are mind blowing to me. They may be old news to everyone else, but not for me. I received more information that I can immediately apply to my life this week than at any other time in my life. God is rocking my world!!

Tuesday night was ladies night and I had an encounter with God when they called forward those who have had eating disorders. I have struggled most of my life with unhealthy view of food and my body and have been going after this area now for 11 months. Something broke off of me and it was like I became a new woman. My heart towards myself and my body is finally beginning to soften; I've asked for strategies from God on how to battle this, and he has heard and delivered!!

I've had amazing financial testimonies - God prompted me yesterday to write out checks to myself from Him; one for $1229.65 (which is the remaining balance of my tuition) and the other for $3,000 (the amount for my missions trip next spring to South Africa). Last night I get a message from someone that says they want to give me $500 toward my missions trip!! Come on Jesus!!!

Last week I discovered a major stronghold in Max's life. For years now he's been shutting down unable to communicate his emotions at all when he experiences anger, fear or pain. It's just something I've learned to deal with, but I've felt all along that there was something else to it that I couldn't put my finger on. A situation arose that revealed finally that Max is a feeler in the spirit. He was at his friend's house and wanted to leave - that's never happened before - this was the second time at this same friend's house. He finally told me that when his friend's parents yell at the boy, Max can feel his friend's sadness and he was too overwhelmed emotionally to stay. I had a chance to minister to my son, explaining to him that what he's experiencing is a gift from God; that God is revealing secrets he's not telling anyone else just to him. And that God is asking you when that happens to pray for that person. So I walked him through this and loved on him. It was such an amazing experience for both of us; it really brought us together. Not only that but it later opened up an opportunity for me to witness to the boy's father!! SO good!!

Today in class we were led in an exercise where we were to ask the Holy Spirit what we needed to do to position myself for marriage (with the idea to think about it before you find yourself there, lol). So one of the things the HS told me was that I should ask my sons what kind of man they would like to see me marry. After talking to Michael for an hour, he finally confesses that he does not want to form any bonds with men including his own dad. I was shocked. He has never spoken of feeling this way ever - not even a hint. He told me he doesn't feel like his dad is his real dad; that he bonded with my ex husband instead of his dad, and when my ex left and severed that relationship, Michael checked out. He had a wonderful loving bond with me and his friends and other adults but not with men. Of course I was shocked and devastated to hear this; but the Lord had me in such peace right away. Like this was the beginning of healing for Michael. What once was hidden in darkness has now been exposed to light; it can never remain the same. I feel so amazing and hopeful about these areas where the enemy has been working to destroy my boys finally coming into the light!!! So I am just praising God right now knowing if he can redeem me, he can surely redeem those boys!!!

I was so blessed by loving notes and gifts sent by my LDP group back in TC!! You guys totally rocked me and I had an opportunity to take Michael out on a date just me and him and treat him like a little gentleman. He told me 3 or 4 times how much he enjoyed our dinner together. It was such a blessing to me - thank you so much!!!

I can feel the weight of my declarations building up in the spirit as spiritual currency for me!! That's the only way I can think of to describe what's happening right now. There is this momentum building in every area of my life where I have been contending for and positioning my heart to finally experience God's massive goodness in my life!! It's very exciting. God has also opened up a business opportunity to me. I've also had a new friend reach out and bless me in the area of nutrition and health and sent me a very generous gift of food for a nutrition program. He's also been preparing me to prepare my paintings to possibly show in local galleries after the first of the year. But most of all I am learning to be a prosperous soul. I am teaching myself through the help of Holy Spirit how to not fear money to see it as a powerful tool and to embrace my calling to be a funnel of resources for God among other things.

And I can't forget about the dreams and visions God has been blessing me with!!! Everything from painting ideas, to movies to video games to videos - I have been drinking in the igniting He has done to my imagination! I already had people tell me how much some of my paintings have affected them and even had a lady tell me I painted her recurring dream she's had all her life!! What?!! SO good!! It rocked me and her!

I asked for a miracle at work yesterday - I had somehow missed the ad deadline for our trade publication for the Christmas ad; my boss was furious. I prayed to God and publicly asked for a miracle in this area. I called the magazine and asked to get the ad in last minute (they were already going to print). I did not expect them to say yes; I knew it was too late but hoped that God would do a miracle. I found out today they accepted my ad and it will go to print!! Come on Jesus!! I am so blessed by that because it has been somewhat tumultuous since I've started school between me and my place of employment.

I can't tell you how much I miss all of you and how I look forward to and long to see you again and to hear how God is moving there in TC and for those of you scattered elsewhere as well. I am doing well. Truth is, I'm still living check to check and I'm behind on some bills still since the move, but I am able to rest in His peace really walking through this knowing He is good, He's my covering, He's not left me alone, He's taking care of me. I pray this finds you half as blessed as I am right now!!

All my love, Jen

Missions to South Africa

Hello All,

I know it's been a while since I blogged. Life has been so incredibly busy since we moved here, but so, so good. I wrote a Facebook status last month about my mission trip assignment at Bethel and what that looked like for me. Here's the post. What I want to do now is to share with you my growing heart for this missions trip and what my needs are as far as funding.

I had a meeting Thursday night at Rich & Danielle Schmidt's house for our first missions trip meeting. They are the pastor couple who will be leading our group next spring. I met just under 20 others who will be going, some of whom I already know. God really stirred up my heart during this meeting with hints of how profound this trip is and what my part to play in it may be.

It is an honor to serve on this team. Here's a breakdown of my trip and the costs:

As you can see, my first deposit deadline is Nov. 19th and I'm supposed to have $275 raised - so far I have $0. The Lord has already performed great financial miracles in my life thus far getting me from Traverse City to Redding, and in providing supernaturally for much of my tuition so far. The Lord has provided for me so far over $3,000 toward tuition, much of which has come from support from you and others. He has graciously made available to me a payment schedule for my tuition of $330 per month until it's paid off. I still owe $1360.00 toward tuition and now my missions trip is $2,750.00. It seems and feels huge and out of my reach, but thank God I am a daughter to the richest man in the universe!! My King Jesus is ruler over all and I know he delights in providing for me.


I want to invite you to partner with me in my journey toward the center of God for my life. Coming to Bethel was the best decision I ever made and I know I am in the center of his will for me right now, and honestly it feels amazing. To those of you back home who continually love and support and pray for me, my love for you is too immense to describe in words. We have truly become part of one body, learning to love and serve each other as true sons and daughters. I love you and thank God for you every day.


Bless you and thank you for following my journey! xo Jen


To Donate towards Missions or Tuition here's the link:
https://www.ibssm.org/a/donate/search?search%5Bstudent_name%5D=Jen+Street

You can click on dante to missions or donate to tuition - both are still needed! :-) Thank you.

Facing Fear and Finding Freedom with Friends

Today was an amazing day; our Revival Group for 1st Year BSSM went to Mountain Chapel in Weaverville, CA to do a ropes course. The whole day was about me (and everyone else) letting God purge our fears, if we were up for the challenge. After the general assembly, we were released into groups for challenges. Then we were paired up where one person was blindfolded leading the other around an obstacle course - nothing death defying - but like stairs and logs and stuff. It was so amazing. I had a great young man leading me and it was amazing, he made me feel totally safe. Oh and we weren't allowed to talk.

At lunch, I had a different fear hit me totally unrelated to the course. A little background. I work full time at home while going to school, but I did not ask for the day off from work. The reason I didn't was because I had decided to go at the last minute (after I got someone to look after my boys) and I had asked my boss last Friday for a raise. Now I've been working for him since 2007 without a raise. I just woke up Friday and something in me said - ask for a raise - so I did. He said no, that they were actually cutting back. Well, because I had just taken 3 days off two weeks before for the camping intensive for school, and because I had just asked him for a raise and he said no, I was afraid he'd think I was out job hunting today. Mondays are usually pretty quiet so I decided not to say anything.

Well I get done with lunch and there's an email asking for a quick little change to something I did last week. I had no choice to but to tell him. It really brought fear out in me I though I'd already dealt with. And this was the exact thing I've been asking God to deal with in me, that I want to be rid of all my fears of man. So we get back to the course and my phone messes up and so I just was like "I have to turn this off, I can't focus on this I need to focus on what God has in front of me".

So the next part of the course was the ropes. We got all harnessed up and ready to go. The first level is about 10 feet off the ground, the second is maybe double. The first challenge was we had to walk backwards on this log suspended in the air, while keeping our hands on each other's shoulders the whole way. We totally did it. The next one we had to do this Frankenstein walk across the wires - again we had to remain touching each other but we weren't allowed to touch our own ropes!! It was intense!! So Tim got on first and then Kim did and then I'm like "I can't do this!!!" And Kim's like "Oh yes you can" and so I was like "Ok" in my scared little girl voice, and oh my gosh it was so tense and scary!!! But we did it! And we didn't fall which was a miracle lol for me at least. The last one was really hard we had to walk across these logs except they got further away from each other the farther we walked down them. Again we had to touch together as a group - three on one side and three on the other with one from each side reaching across to grab hands. It was crazy intense, but we totally did it!

When we got down they brought us around to ask about the high ropes. My body was still so tensed up - my thighs and calves and feet and hands were cramping from being so tense. I really wanted to do it but I was afraid that my stamina wouldn't last; once you're up there you're in all the way, there's no climbing down. After debating I decided not to do it, but I totally felt the freedom to make that choice without fear or shame or failure. It was such an amazing experience. My team ROCKED!!

I knew when I came to school that balancing school and work was going to be a challenge and I knew there'd be days that would put me in situations that may cost me my job. But I made that choice trusting that God is my provider and he is the one who takes care of me, that this isn't hard for him. And what I realized today is that's a choice I keep making every day. Each day I keep choosing God in my life, my circumstances, for provision and love and comfort and my needs. He brought me here to learn how to live in community based on the foundation of the presence of God and his goodness. And the more I'm here, the more I realize how connected we are supposed to be to one another, how our destinies are so intertwined, and how much looking out for the interests of others really deposits so much wealth into our spiritual bank accounts. Like none of us can get to where we are supposed to be going without each other. We need the power, momentum and favor of the group to propel ourselves into our destinies.

Alone, we are powerless against the winds of change that come to swoop us off the high wire of life; but with friends, with a community based on honor and love and not cutting down and competition and insecurity, but one of mutual uplifting and encouragement and respect we are able to lock down and gain from each other's strengths to weather the storms of our lives. This was such a powerful experience, one I hope soon I can do again with my sons, and one day I would love to do with my sisters.

Thank you Lord for where you are leading me. I am ready to close my eyes, take your hand, and follow you wherever you want to take me. I trust it's going to be amazing, astounding, exciting and maybe even scary. But when I choose to know your goodness even in the midst of circumstances that don't look or feel good, I know you're powerful to rise up and calm the storm with but a whisper.

Learning to Receive Healthy Intimacy

Wow!! What a week it's been friends!! This week is BSSM retreat week. Not only did God provide a way for me to go (thank you so much Bryn!!), not only did he give me unheard of favor with my boss, but he blew my socks off as well.

I arrived at the YWAM retreat center in Chico very much a stranger to most (and somewhat feeling like one), but left feeling like a true member of a vast and wonderful family. I saw walls crumble, masks discarded, hearts soften, wounds being revealed and beginning to be healed; I saw sleepers awaken, watched paradigms being shaken, souls trembled and dancers being birthed. I heard holy laughter, cries of repentance, moans of utterance too deep for words, truths declared and the spirit of prophecy resonate and echo through the hills and valleys of eternity. But the most surprising encounter of all was a brand new introduction to intimacy, Godhead style.

There's something very special that happens when a group of people all encounter the same supernatural experience together. There's an intimacy that falls on the group that transcends natural understanding and reasoning. Things shift in the natural when you approach stranger after stranger and speak God's heart over them, and receive the same again and again. When performance and competition are stripped away to reveal the core of every human heart - the need to give and receive love - it produces an awakening of parts of you that you weren't even aware you had. That sleeping giant awakens and begins to stomp around, destroying what once seemed like huge hurts and pains, years of rejection and misunderstanding, offense and judgement; squashing them underfoot like Godzilla over Tokyo. That sleeping giant is intimacy.

And just when you think you've had more than you ever thought possible, God in his amazing, lovingkindness has even more in store for you. Worshiping the Lord with one mind, one heart opens doors in the spirit to shift heaven toward earth and miracles - not just the physical or mental kind - but miracles of the heart, miracles that break off years of abuse and neglect; loneliness, self-loathing, punishment, shame and a lifetime of lovelessness - these are the miracles of the heart that change everything. And I saw them happen right before my eyes, again and again. And then it happened to me.

I went to this place thinking I was whole for the most part, and I was. I have enjoyed so much inner healing and am leagues beyond just where I was even six months ago. But I experienced something last night that shook me to my core and woke me up to the reality of my need for levels of intimacy the world has never seen. Most of my friends back home know my story of where I come from, as I am proud of the story of my testimony and know the power it carries to offer freedom to others. But many of my new BSSM family does not. I was saved and had a holy spirit experience when I was 9, but grew up in religion based on following the rules, not a person. The God I served was a list of rules that I would eventually bend and yield to serve my brokenness and unfulfilled desires. And as so many have, I grew up having bought into the lie of my unworthiness to receive love, and so I carried this on my back throughout my life like a gypsy's pack that got heavier and heavier as life went by. It manifested itself in the beginning in my relationship(or lack of one) with my father and then morphed itself into my relationships with men when I became an adult. My agreement with the lie and then desperation to overcome the reality it brought to my life carried me deeper and deeper into darkness. Then truth came in the form of a woman who looked enough like Jesus that I got a glimpse of a different Jesus than the world had ever told me about before, and I was hooked. For life. The rest is history [his(her)story]. I've since received baptism in the Holy Spirit and Father's love and began to walk in my identity as a daughter in the kingdom. But until last night, I didn't know that there was something else missing, and that this something was so untouched in my life.

Allow me to set the scene. Worship was incredible. The music was nothing extra spectacular, no song was particularly amazing - but it was a culmination of two days of the building intensity of a large group of people seeking out the heart of God with one heart, one mind. Most of the room was engaged heart, soul and body to the move of God, pouring out ourselves as a fragrant offering to the Lord. Those who were dancers became extravagant ones. Those who weren't dancers become dancers. Those who were sitters became standers. Everyone was moved up a notch from where they had been before. It was as thick as molasses in the room. After the first set of worship, many began to prophesy and love on each other (after holy laughter broke up the regularly scheduled program!!!).

So this guy walks up to me - and bear in mind this is happening all over the room - people just walking up to each other and pouring out love (incase it needs to be said - in a pure and healthy way); speaking words of encouragement and of the Father's heart. So this guy walks up to me - he's very tall, has a very strong build - but he approaches me with the tenderness of a lamb. His hair and beard were fiery red. And he smiled his huge smile at me, his eyes were fierce with love, and we just embraced - it was as if I was welcoming a long lost friend. His hug was so tender and yet so strong. It was a safe hug, a papa bear hug. But it melted into that of a lover (stay with me here - in the way Jesus is my lover, my husband). After a couple of moments, he half pulls away from me and looks into my eyes and there is so much love there and I know it's Jesus - these are His eyes looking at me with holy passion. And he begins to speak to me and tells me what he sees as he's looking into my soul through my eyes. And I knew that he really saw me, you know? He saw through me, in to the spirit. And God spoke through him words of love and affirmation. We hugged again and I thanked him and spoke a few words over him, and it was over.

I have not been able to get that encounter out of my mind. That broke off so many things on me that I can't yet even process what they all were. Everything about the encounter was prophetic. His height and build spoke to me of God's strength and power, ever present and ready to show Himself as a strong protector of me. His hair spoke of the fiery passion of God, his burning desire for me. The tender and strong embrace he gave me was the embrace of the Father heart of God; so tender for his princess and so protecting of her (my) virtue and purity. And then it melted into the fiery embrace of Jesus, my lover and husband. It ended with the comforting words of the Holy Spirit for me. I've never experienced anything like it.

I believe this was a prophetic message from God, for me as an individual and for the church. I have felt these aspects of love and intimacy from the Godhead before - just never from the Godhead THROUGH a person at such depths before. I knew that God was showing me what deep crying out to deep looks like. This is his heart for his people to walk in a level of holy intimacy that the world has never seen before, one that truly has the power to break every chain. But it was also to prepare me. It's one thing to begin to see your greatness in God, but it's a whole other can of worms to hear it, feel it, and see it in such an intimate way through an almost stranger. My greatness is tied to my capacity to love. The power of the amount of love God apportioned to me is real; it's dangerous as a weapon against our enemy, and equally as potentially dangerous to me if wielded without humility and wisdom, and it requires a delicate balance between the freedom to soar and soberness to steward. This encounter stretched me beyond the bounds of my comfort levels into the abyss of "you are getting what you have been asking for" territory. There was nothing inappropriate or unholy about it - I simply have never operated at such an intimate level with another human being before outside of marriage or sexual relations. And as uncomfortable as it may be to talk about, we must.

What is intimacy - into-me-you-see; if we are going to become ONE body, ONE spirit, ONE mind, ONE accord, that's going to require levels of seeing and knowing each other that we are currently not operating at. I will borrow a lesson on intimacy from Kris Vallotton that says (not a direct quote) "I will not hold back expressing holy love to the daughters (sons, mothers, fathers) of God at the risk of it being misinterpreted and perverted by the world or those who struggle with immorality". I guess you could wrap it up by saying I got my first taste of a brother in Christ seeing in to me in ways that I feel up to this point in my life have only been seen by God. I think the deepest cry of our hearts (outside of love) is to be known. The two are one and cannot be separated. I came away from this experience not only realizing how much I am known in God, but I'm beginning to see how much he desires for us to see, to know and be known by each other. Whoa is me, I am undone. More Lord, more!

Blessings and love, Jen

Matthew chapter 4

It just struck me as I was sitting and reading, how telling the temptation of Jesus was. This chapter tells us so much about how the enemy attacks us and how we are to defend ourselves. "The tempter came to him and said, if you are the son of God tell these stones to become bread." If you are the son of God - he questions our identity. He waited until Jesus was hungry, he was in a weakened state; that can be hunger that could be a weakened state of our mind where were having anxiety or fear or stress. Jesus uses the word to counter the word that the enemy gives him. This is really eye-opening for the believer; when the enemy attacks a believer the lies are based on truth. What the devil says to Jesus is from the Bible. But the devil uses the word of God out of its proper context as a weapon. So if the enemy can use the word of God to tempt or to lead astray, then we can too. If we use the word of God out of the context that God intends for it to be used, we become the tempter, we become the enemy. 

The Devils next trick was to ask Jesus to prove himself. "If you are the son of God, he said, throw yourself down...." He took him to the highest point of the temple in the holy city. The enemy tries to get us to perform for something that's already ours; our identity, our giftings, our anointing. Again Jesus uses the word to override the word. If we learn anything from this it should be that every truth is held in tension. There are moments in our lives when one truth, although true, is not meant to be applied to this moment in this situation. We open ourselves up at that point to what the enemy is saying because it sounds like the word of God, it is the word of God, it's just not God's word for us in that moment; there's a higher truth God is wanting us to hear for that moment, but we don't hear it because we're distracted by what we think is truth. 

The last temptation is when the devil takes him to a very high mountain and shows him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor and offers it to him. We have really got to get this. The devil had legal possession over everything that he had offered to Jesus, but Jesus knew a higher truth, and that truth was that he would die and be resurrected and would take back the authority that man had given the devil over the earth. Jesus knew who he was, he knew his identity, he knew how he was going to take possession over the earth. But the devil offered him a shortcut. We can often be presented a shortcut to fulfill the things that God has for us, and it's a test. If we are not listening to the Lord every step of the way as we process information, opportunities, and concerns, then we will get tripped up on the promise and forget to follow the one making the promises. 

Truth can be truth, without it being the truth we need in the moment we're in. 

Thank you Lord for the truth. May you guide us into all truth for every moment of our lives. Amen

Listening When I Ask God to Speak

Today in class during a time of activation, we were asked what areas of breakthrough were we longing for a greater anointing on? Immediately I thought of two things: my finances and my painting, particularly painting on stage during worship. At first I thought that the finances one was me focusing on the problem at hand instead of listening to what the Holy Spirit had to say. And as I thought that, He began to make clear to me that no; my heart was clean of worry - I was resting in my faith for breakthrough, I hadn't heard wrong. In order for me to step into my calling, I need to increase my anointing in both of these areas.

There are many areas of my life that I found easy(er) to overcome in; perhaps now looking back it's because I'm looking back rather than being in the throes of it. My purity walk over the past two years has been amazing; but recalling the year before that reminds me the very present struggles during that time with that area of my life. Today it's my finances. I take it very seriously. This poverty spirit is vigilant to keep rising up each time I draw it out and burn some off. The idea that it's hard to hold onto money, hard to get it, not enough - all are evidence of the remnant of a poverty spirit. I know the right answers to these lies; and had been making declarations in line with those for many months. And as soon as I'd get a little breakthrough, I'd back off on the declarations. I have found the same to be true with my weight loss / health goals. What I realized today is the importance of consistency in declaring victory over myself in these area several times a week, if not daily; and sustaining that over months and years, if necessary, until I feel a more permanent victory.

Tonight the Lord wanted to speak to me about it. He's been speaking to me for the past year in repeating numbers, so when I saw the time 11:11pm, I knew I needed to look that up. He brought me to Psalms 111:1:

"Praise the Lord!! I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart in the company of the upright, in the congregation."

So I turned it into a declaration to Him: "I praise you Lord!! I give thanks to you Lord with my whole heart in the company of the upright and in the presence of the congregation."

The next verse was Deuteronomy 11:11:

"But the land you are crossing the Jordan to take possession of is a land of mountains and valleys that drinks rain from heaven. It is the land the Lord your God cares for; the eyes of the Lord your God are continually on it from the beginning of the year to its end."

The land the Israelites crossed the Jordan for was the Promise Land. My promise land is me inheriting the fullness of my calling, stepping into it. Crossing the Jordan signifies a deeper baptism in the Holy Spirit, which must happen as I cross - that's what the Jordan represents, the second baptism. It's a land of mountain (top) experiences for me - and of traveling through valleys (where Jesus and I sit in communion, fellowshipping in the presence of my enemies). It's a land that is sustained by the waters of heaven, full of the Spirit; a land blessed, flowing, offering endless sustenance. It's a land that The Lord MY GOD takes care of, watches over without rest from the beginning to the end. Why does he watch? To protect it? Maybe. But I think he watches it because He's watching with anticipation to see me possess it in increasing measure. If He so desires me to possess it, will He not provide to me everything necessary to bring me there? Is it not already assured then that I will possess it? Yes and yes.

This is it. I take possession over the anointing necessary to overcome the spirit of poverty; and I do it by praising God with my whole heart (without fear or doubt) in the company of the congregation, in the presence of believers. Which means I need a corporate anointing to overcome the last bits of this I'm struggling with. It's a breakthrough I can only get in community with other believers.

I'm sharing this because so many of us here at Bethel are needing the same breakthrough in this area of finance. Our lack of money is a poverty issue. Abundance rests on the other side of need, past our provision. There is more than enough provision in the river of life; we must position ourselves to receive. How do we do that? First we must imagine ourselves receiving, that may look differently for each of us. If we can't imagine it then we have no visualization necessary to muster up enough faith. But second is that we praise our God with thanksgiving in the congregation corporately, accessing the faith made available to us by the understanding that the power of agreement in the group is greater than the power of agreement of us as individuals.

Let us press in together to see the heavens opened up and the glory of God showered on us as His word says!!

First Day of School

If I walked away with anything today, it was the beautiful, amazing, sobering revelation of the decades of sacrifices (by many) it took to provide - for me, today - the atmosphere and legacy of revival that now is mine to inherit (and 1,500 other students). The story of revival today at Bethel is as such because of a rich history of radical believers who have kept the fires burning at the altar!! Thank you God for their dedication and sacrifice to you.

I have been studying this move of God and this house for over a year now, and I can tell you that being there and hearing some of the same words I've heard before in person really changes things. The intensity of the atmosphere and the electricity that brings every word home to me just seemed to awaken every part of my being. This is what it must be to feel truly alive, engulfed in passion and determination and assurance that I am following after that which my heart desires.

Today, I saw and felt glimpses of who I am to be. I saw and felt things about myself that I've never felt before. A higher level of self worth somehow wrapped in humility overcame me today - in the face of a great move of God I saw and felt my own greatness in the kingdom and did not allow one iota of doubt or shame or accusation interrupt what God was trying to show me in myself.

Every step I've taken to get where I am; every person who encouraged me, supported me, sowed in to me, opposed me, every opportunity given, every prayer, every piece of counsel or advice - every bit of it was necessary to bring me to this point in my journey.

I have never felt the closeness that outrageous honor brings to an atmosphere before. I came away with my heart shouting - I want the passion this man has!! I want to walk in the honor he bestows every place he goes!! I must have it at any cost!!

I know that my job (privilege) is to prepare my heart to be wrecked by God. To prepare myself for goodness I've never experienced before. My heart longs for it, to receive it, be activated in it, and carry it wherever I go. My heart aches to take His goodness to those who have lived with counterfeit goodness their entire lives and to watch their faces transform in the revelation of who God is and how much he loves them.

I am preparing my heart (as best I can) to be spoiled by My Daddy; a loving Father, ruler of all creation, who has every spiritual gift and blessing assigned for me - not because of who I am - but because of who Christ says I am. I am a King and a Priest to God, a royal heir to the Throne of God.

I can't even express to you how amazing it is to feel this way. I look back at when I was a young girl. I had such huge dreams, and yet the enemy had put such a heavy yoke of unworthiness and shame on me for daring to even entertain thoughts of greatness. All my life I have struggled in this tug-of-war, half of me wanting and needing to believe that I could be all the things that were inside of me, the other half beating myself down before I could even try. And you know the funny thing? It really is funny because I would not trade one moment of any of that loneliness and brokenness for what I'm about to walk into. The funny part is that the devil really screwed the pooch, so to speak. He really should have taken me out when he had the chance, because it's on like Donkey Kong now!!

I am his worst nightmare!! Every second I get to testify to God's goodness in my life, how he's transformed(ing) me from extreme brokenness to absolute fullness - man I feel the power of my testimony; the pain it took to occupy the power of it is so real to me - and I count every bit of it as joy. Every moment crying on my pillow - joy. Every failed attempt, relationship - whatever; JOY!! Because I know that I know that I know that every single thing the enemy used to try to destroy me has now become my greatest areas of victory in the Lord! I feel it as real as I can feel my own hands.

I know that I am only at the beginning of an eternal ongoing revelation of God's love for me... if the first taste is this sweet.... look out world!! Come on!!! The battle I live in today is waged in my mind - what I believe about myself and the creator who made me determines my outcome in every situation. It really is that simple; but not easy. Practice makes perfect. I came to Bethel most of all to feel honor. To see it, taste it, smell it, become it. To learn to walk in God's heart for ALL mankind; not just Christians, or those I deem worthy enough. That's what honor is to me - seeing people through God's eyes and treating them in a way that reflects what you're seeing - the fully redeemed person that will be; just like me..... someday. I want others to treat me that way. What a terrible, misguided point of arrogance I have lived in for so many years expecting that, but never giving it. But the deeper truth is that honor comes from God and feeling honored comes from that realization; that regardless of how anyone treats you, "you being rooted and established in love" knowing who we are in Christ Jesus gives us the (supernatural) power to walk in honor even when others aren't giving us any.

SO excited to be here. I love you all so much. Thank you for following with me through this great adventure. xxoo

Getting Settled In

Hello All!! Well today is the first day of school for the boys. It's certainly been an adjustment from Michigan to Redding!! The boys have to walk to school here because they live within 2 miles of the school (which is good), so I take them in the morning (Michael starts a whole hour later than Max, weird!) and in the afternoon, this week I'll walk to go get the and we'll walk home together. Starting next week they'll be on their own. I hope they have an awesome day!!!

I start school next week (the 9th) and Max's birthday is the 12th. He made a new friend at Bethel in his class and he will be coming to his birthday party, which is cool.

It's been a challenge balancing life from two locations, trying to settle in and manage places, issues, finances. Of course, like anyone, I've had my moments of questioning it all; but the Lord is faithful and good. He has made a way time and time again, and I know he is the God of possibilities. I honestly do not know how I made it across the country and got into a place with my limited resources. It was all his grace. I am facing new challenges now that I'm in a place and about to being school. I know that his grace is sufficient for me and I eagerly anticipate his abundance and goodness over me every day. Your continued prayers and support are essential to my success.

Although my fundraising campaign on Indiegogo has expired, I am still raising funds. Half my tuition is due next week on the 9th ($2,000), and I still have utility deposits/costs to catch up on.

For those local to Traverse City who wish to donate cash or check, Brigitte Anne has my bank account info and has been making deposits on my behalf. If you need her number, call, email or text me. If you'd prefer to mail me a check, my new address is 1982 Bechelli Lane Redding, CA 96002. Just keep in mind I don't yet have a local bank account and will have to mail the check back to my bank in Michigan.

For those wishing to donate using a debit or credit card, you can do so directly at my school website: https://www2.ibssm.org/ >> at the bottom choose: Give to Tuition >> type in my name, select me and then enter your card info. This is the quickest and easiest method for me. No amount is too small.

I am eternally grateful to all who have sown into my calling either through finances or prayers or both. I know that I am following his voice and I need your prayers to continue to strengthen me. The boys are so resilient, they are adapting well. We miss our family, friends and church home back in TC and all across the U.S., but I know I'm where I'm called to be for a season. I love you all and thank you for following my journey and keeping up on what's going on with us. Please continue to pray for us as well as for Pippa's family who has also relocated - to Houston, Texas - and are going through transition as well. Lots of Love XXOO. Jen & the boys

Here's some pics of the new place: still getting settled in.

Still Waiting

Well it's been quite a journey. I've had several hiccups trying to find housing, but I think we've got a place - a townhouse to move into tomorrow. It's kinda small but there's a pool and tennis courts and stuff which will be good for the boys. It's been rough living out of our car and hotels for the past several days, but I know The Lord is faithful to accomplish his work in us and I know the place he has for us is exactly where we're meant to be. Just trying to keep my thankfulness up and the stress down. Thanks to everyone for prayers and support . I do have tuition deadline coming up in another two weeks so prayer in that area is appreciated. Hugs and kisses from Cali!! 

Sunday, Sunday

My first Sunday at Bethel.... it was great. Max's class was full and he wasn't able to go so he had to sit with me... don't think he was too happy about that lol. Mostly I am just plain wore out today. After church Bryn went with me to get the UHAUL and we had lunch, then me and Max went to the pool at Jess & Jessica's where we're staying for a couple of days until we get a place tomorrow (hopefully). My brain and body are pretty fried right now, hopefully this week we'll get more settled in and into a new groove. That's all for now!!

Beautiful Canyon of the Gunnison

Today my dad took us to see the Canyon of the Gunnison. I have never seen anything like it. It was so beautiful and the boys loved it, especially Max the squirrel boy lol. We've had a great visit - just resting up for the rest of the trip. 

I gotta be honest. The drive in was pure hell, but the beauty of this country has captured my heart. I am so thankful I decided to come. And although we are a day behind, I know The Lord is going to be blessing and preparing the way for us. I still don't have a place or all the funds, but I'm trusting in The Lord. He provides the fire if I provide the sacrifice. 

I'm tired, but it's been an amazing trip - looking forward to the next chapter. Pray for continued favor and blessing as we begin to travel tomorrow and for the right place to come available.

Good Morning Colorado!

The adventures continue.... We've travelled for 13 - 14 hours a day for the past two days. The boys have been amazing troopers - very little complaining. I, however, after yesterday's drive noticed my legs and feet, especially my right one, were (and still are this morning) swollen - which is crazy because all I've been doing is drinking water!! Prayers for healing, strength, endurance and abundance are appreciated!!

The time I estimated for this trip has almost doubled because, well, we're in a UHAUL and we can't always go the speed limit. Google maps doesn't have a trip planning option for UHAULs, lol. But, our spirits have been good, our joy levels awesome and I'm very excited about seeing the Rocky Mountains! 

Today I see my dad for the first time in 16 years, and this will make only my 4th time seeing him. I'm excited to see how this will go and for him to meet his grandchildren. Prayers for this encounter are welcomed too. 

I just declare supernatural health, love, joy, peace and provision for us as we continue onward and upward in our journey to Redding! 

The Last Day, The First Day

The past two days have been filled with tension, stress, laughter, tears, exhaustion, and a dozen other emotions, but what I'll remember most is its been filled with friends. Last Sunday I had an amazing send off from my church FCC and last Saturday from GTHOP. So much love. Had wonderful last visit with my sweet Pippa & family who are off on their own new adventure in Gods path for them. And with Hope. Gonna miss u girl!!

Right now as I sit - clean, exhausted, sad, joyful, forward-looking, I am so thankful to my family and friends. You are my life, my heart, I am so happy to have each of you in my life. I really want to shout out to those who have busted tail to help me get packed and loaded and ready to go.

David Skjaerlund, you are an amazing man of God who has been pouring into my life since the moment I met you. This would not be possible without you. I am so thankful for the gold you have called out in me and I look forward to the day I am able to pour into you and your ministry in the same measure. I love you and Marcia so much. Thank you for not seeing me as I am but as how The Father sees me.

Sansaray & Katie, ladies you picked me up by my bootstraps when I needed it most and your fierce love has helped me through the past two days!! Thank you for everything you ladies have done. I'm so honored to have you in my life. I love you guys so much!

Thanks to Morgan for sending interns from ABBAS HOUSE to help out. Bless you guys so much!! Thank you for everything! Love you guys!!! 

Jason, Daryl, Lisa - you guys worked so hard for me today and I'll never forget it. I appreciate you so much. Love you!

To Brigitte Anne for being my spiritual mother, giving birth to me in the spirit - this is all your fruit. You are amazing, I'm so excited to see how God is going to be working our paths together again. <3 Xoxoxoxo

Big thanks to Joe Welsh for becoming a surrogate dad to our dog Toby. This would be so much harder without knowing he's in good hands. Luv u!

Thanks Julie for donating the stuff for my sale, I appreciate you! I'm excited to see your dreams come true!

A shout out to my dear friend Marleen for being the first one to sow into my new adventure. Love you woman!! Look forward to having a TC reunion!

Heather Muha, thank you for being my endless prayer warrior!! I appreciate you so much! Love you so very much!

I thank my mom and my sisters for loving me so well and just being there. I love you more than I tell you and more than you know. I can't wait for the day to come when I can spoil you and we can take a girls trip together. I miss u so much.

And thanks to everyone who has sown into this life changing adventure either monetarily or in prayer of both. Each one of you has made this possible and I am eternally grateful. 

God is faithful. When I stop and think about how hard this is or how much I'm leaving behind both friends and comfort, I think of Jesus. He gave up everything for me. If I was the only one on the planet, he'd of done it all for me. My heart is eager to give back to him the thing he wants most, me. I want to love him with all that I have, all that I am; and I know in doing so, his blessings will never stop flowing. Because the more I become what he created me to be, the more I bring him glory. 

I thank God above all, for being a good daddy who loves to shower abundance on his daughter. Your love is worth it all. 

I love Traverse City so much and I know God has amazing plans for me here down the road. But for now, I'm setting off to head out west. A new state. A new time zone (eeew) lol. A new life. A new school. A new level of power. A new hope. I am so blessed. I take each one of you with me as I go, sharing this great adventure with you. 

On My Way, 

Jen